Return to Blighty
What a wonderful, busy, crazy trip back to Blighty. I managed to see so many people and do so much stuff and for this I am very thankful, but inevitably missed out several trips and visits to those that I had wanted to see, as a result I am now feeling utterly crestfallen that I just couldn’t squeeze everything in.

Apologies
Apologies to Marie, and belated happy birthday hugs. I’m so sorry I didn’t touch base.[I received your letter this morning Wed 25th March!] Also to “Auntie”, please forgive me…I am writing to you and promise I WILL visit next time.
Ursula and I “ crossed in the post” ,as she was arriving from Spain, and I was in transit to London ,and Pam and I just didn’t get to see each other…. although we spoke at length on the phone and caught up with a lot of stuff…but next time Pam…it’s a promise!
Lucy B, I was hoping to contact you when I arrived in London Town,but I simply ran out of time, [ Bossy and Little were delighted to have skyped with you all from Cape Town, which made me feel very jealous!]
Kim..I had every intention, but my meeting with the agents at Beacon Cottage lasted for 4 HOURS!!!!!!! And I was brain dead, incapable of speech AND chasing the clock by the time we had finished.
We are planning a family return some time in late June and I hope to be back in October
[ cant say why……. Jessie!]

Thanks
Tazzy and David are the most wonderful hosts, I felt incredibly “at home” during my week with them ,and Lilly their cat!…I envy them their appetite and stamina for partying…could barely keep up. Too much of the desert life I think. Huge thanks for the music..we are ALL completely addicted to the GO TAN project , even, Bossy Michael Jackson Klinkenberg, has been moved to grove around to its beat, whilst braa ing! , and we have cranked it up so that it echoes around the stary desert landscape at night. Sounds wonderful!
Taz, I have our friend, Mr Morrison playing whilst I type.
Tazzy,I`m so upset for you, and cant believe the news of your back complication.
You must be absolutely heartbroken, after such a brilliant recovery from the op, then to have some idiot run into the back of your [stationary] car at speed and damage all the hard work the surgeon has done is beyond words.[not to mention writing your car off!] My heart goes out to you and I really hope that the pain eases and you start to make a renewed recovery.

As for my week with Jelly, it was truly wonderful.
I caught up on 5 exhibitions, with the help of Loops and Di, thanks girlies, I really loved our days out!, particularly ,boating up[down?] the Thames in the sunshine, between galleries.
I was whisked to a porn club by Jessie and her three house mates,Jess,Ellie and Becks, as it was being used as the venue for the Imperial College fashion show, which was very impressive…couldn’t believe that “cat suits” are “IN”.again, I seem to remember my Mum making me a red paisley one when I was about 12 [when I was modeling my entire self on Emma Peel],not for the likes of me now I think, and most certainly not in the Northern Cape!

Metting Bardot, Amy and Marge in the space of a couple of hours.
Jess and I spent a memorable[ and successful] day, shopping for a dress for her final medics supper on the last Saturday in March.Our shopping expedition ended rather poorly when we decided to go and have our hair “done” in a rather racy “hair bar”.
I chose the style “big and Bouncy” from the pictorial menu card and Jessie chose “Bardot”….The moment that we were both deemed “done”….She jettisoned from the hair dressers chair , moving at great speed, and making directly for the disabled toilets [just across from the hairdressers ]…when I eventually caught up with her[ having handed over the dosh]!, she was throwing a hissy fit and threatening to pull all of the large pins that were holding her spectacular beehive up, and scratch through her furiously back combed locks, with a hairbrush that was certainly not man enough for the job.
Although I thought it looked great, Jessie was convinced it was light years away from the picture of the “Bardot” style on the menu, and was more in keeping with a blonde and suitably spaced out birds nesty Amy Winehouse![she was certainly starting to behave as I imagine Amy behaves!] Attempting to calm her. I suggested we make for home as a matter of urgency, which she agreed to, but only if we took a taxi..which we did!!!!
After removing all the pins, the high rise beehive, which was now being referred to as the “AMY”, somewhat miraculously stayed in position, we were now moved to refer to it as a “Marge” [as in Simpson], and Jell was being re acquainted with her sense of humour, after teasing it out she looked like a cave woman; however several shampoos and even more conditioning treatments later, she was restored to her normal gorgeous self, both in body and demeanor. Apart from getting very cross with me for tidying her bedroom and the two of us struggling to comfortably share the same bed, these were the only “moments “in an altogether memorable week.



Tommy and Finn arrived for a “rugby fest” Saturday afternoon, and we went out en famille on Saturday night and then on Mothers day, went for brunch in a delightful restaurant in Brompton..suddenly it was all over. Finn and I found ourselves at Heathrow ,”screen watching” for our flight. And wondering if we would get pulled by customs..for my bags of chillies,dried mushrooms,mace leaves,bottled truffles,anchovies and a perfect little hamper [made up for me by the lovely Dottie] filed with herb seeds and gardening bits. I didn’t think that the zippie bags full of dried mushrooms could possibly be misconstrued..but Taz insisted we include the wrapper from their altogether heavier container purchased in Waitrose..as in her opinion they could be regarded as “magic mushrooms”. And along with the packets of seeds and Mace leaves, thought that this would give the customs ample excuse to don their surgical gloves!
A thousand thanks to everyone: Viki and Tracey,Dotti,Lizzie.It all went too fast,and there was just so little time to fit everything in. I have returned feeling so very painfully home sick….why did England have to be so beautiful and warm and blue and on the precipice of Spring [my favorite time if year!] .I feel like such an errant Mummy for not being there for Jell ,during her finals or for Tommy, who is approaching the end of his recovery and it will soon be time to “road test” the knee ,and for Finn who will return to end of year exams in Newcastle.I don’t regret any part of my trip, but ouch, how it hurts now.

Gastric Flue and all that nasty stuff
Finn had arrived in London from Newcastle on Friday looking green, having been suffering, for the preceding 5 days, from what eventually turned out to be gastric flue,but this diagnosis was confused by the fact that he had taken ANOTHER rugby injury to his stomach, the previous Sunday.
Despite his attempts to pretend he was feeling better, it was clear that he was NOT. We even considered delaying our flight on Sunday, but he rallied and assured me that he was well enough to fly. .It was a very uncomfortable 12 hour flight for him, followed by a grueling wait of 2 hours in Jo burg, where the gods were against us, and they replaced the jet we were booked to fly in, for a little prop for the flight to UP, so it took a further two hours to arrive.
By this time Finn was looking incredibly pale and “not of this world”, so Bossy immediately called the doctor, and we went straight to his surgery from the airport, where poor Finn was prodded and pushed and prescribed mega anti biotics and pain killers and told that if there was no improvement by Wednesday afternoon, he had to return for blood tests. Also, and very upsettingly for Finn, he was on NO account to drink alcohol with his medication, and was strongly discouraged from eating any red meats/spicy foods or milk products. Wow…brilliant start to his holiday!!!! This is NOT the country to be avoiding any of that stuff!
Wednesday and Finn is definitely a great deal better, at last able to eat [still very boring food!] without making spectacular dashes to the bathroom, and most importantly, he is now out of the excruciating pain, his stomach cramps were bringing. He is yearning for some of the delicious beef that this area is renowned for…but still on a strict chicken /fish and rice diet. Pehaps when Bossy`s golfing friend ,Simon ,arrives from England tomorrow, we might celebrate with braai`d fillet!!!!.
On the issue of ears and injuries thereof, Finn Van Gough, was well enough to insist that we looked at his damaged ear…hugely impressive, you can hardly see the join…he was lucky that a maxiofacial surgeon was on call,and did a “right proper job” of sewing it back on.

Finn in recovery

Bongo assisting Finn to recover!
The wilderness

On Wenedsay afternoon, after a plain lunch at Vergelegen [local bar/restaurant],we returned to the farm, and Finn decided to take me out on Bossy`s latest toy..a frighteningly powerful 650cc quad.
So for the first time in months I ventured out into the wilderness. Keen to source some of the large and very strange black boulders that lay strewn around this land, for around the pool. We have yet to deck this area,and in my minds eye, I see large lumps of sculptural rock marking the end of each wooden “pontoon” that will stretch out, either side of the pool.

Taz!!!! Finn saw a mere cat standing sentinel on the top of a steep incline…it scarpered as we approached [very sensible], unfortunately for me, at that precise moment I was busy trying to disengage myself from Fnns T shirt, which was flapping in my face,on account of the extreme speed with which he was negotiating the steep incline, nigh on impossible as my hands were strapped “white knuckle fashion” around some grill on the back of the quad…… so I missed the entire spectacle!!!!!!!!! It is at this point that Litte and I have collected some great rocks..and so we dismounted and scrabbled around for goodies.
Here the earth has thrown up some sort of gold ,shiny almost laquered substance that presents in small clumps of wafery material, being very fragile it falls apart the moment that it is touched,and so one side of the incline, glitters and shines in the sunlight.,which along with pink,white and terracotta quartz pieces in vaying sizes ,gives the impression of a jeweled hillside. I am still quietly looking for diamonds, but since I have no idea what I am actually looking for,its proving rather fruitless!
We rode along the bright orange sand, dried river beds that contour this wilderness,and then over fields of strange ore filled rocks that look more like ancient wood ,and which litter this landscape, coming across small herds of smooth oval and round black boulders ,that range in size from cannon balls to pigmy hippos. Occasionally we would round a bend and find a mass of orange earth built up to a small sand dune, with large holes dug into its sides. These are the homes of the mere cats…who had clearly put the word out that we were in the vicinity and were notable by their absence.
Looking at the time, we had managed to while away an hour, which had passed in minutes and had to make a hasty dash back to the farm so that I could take the wonderful Regna home..she is proving to be a great asset, although in my absence ,Bossy has found her two days work at his best friends farm, so I am without her on a Tuesday and a Thursday [ I think that I can cope!]..Finn is already amused by how unashamed I have be come about leaving stuff for Regina to deal with, and is suggesting that I will never be able to return to a “no help” situation…..Don’t think it will be a problem, but my home will never again be this squeaky.





ROSY & GUILDEN

Upon my return,Bossy informed me that Moses had made a small coralle for Binky,so I hastened to the area..only to find that dear little Binks has company…two MUCH larger mountain tortoises. They are another gift from Moses. Whilst I was staring at them in disbelief [they dwarf Little Binks], Moses was watching very shyly, gauging my response, from the garage..when I looked across he was smiling his broadest smile.

Apparently he had “put the word out” that he was in the market for another couple of tortoises,and Bossy informed me that the previous weekend they had been visited by several locals all with “ found”. Tortoises under their arms ,and that Moses had selected, two that he deemed suitable for me, and in exchange, had handed over two of his beloved chickens for each tortoise. Refusing any subsequent payment from Bossy.

Those of you who are getting fed up with the “B”`s will be most relieved to note the change. Rosencrantz [ aka Rosy] and Guildenstern [aka Guilden] have joined Binks .
I am slightly worried that they will ride roughshod over Binks [who we think is a girl]…I don’t know if tortoises fight,[I cant imagine it for one moment. perhaps they just bitch at each other] but all appears to be calm in the little kingdom of Binks for the moment. And I am now chopping large amounts of lettuce and cucumber, and stripping vine leaves to maintain their collective diets, as being without tethering devises, they are unable to roam freely and forage in the garden. Their coralle has a panel of metal bars on top of it,so as to prevent Bongo attacks. He seems totally disinterested in them, but Bee,just stands still by their enclosed corall and watches them for ages…Rosy can move around the enclosure like grease lightening, and Bee tracks his movements with great delight, staring down through the bars with keen interest . I am convinced her interest ISNT “consumption driven”.


Bongo & Bee
In my absence Bongo seems to have grown several inches and is becoming less of a handful with his constant chewing and biting…I think that losing many of his baby teeth, has discouraged his constant need to gnaw. He has acquired several more wounds from Bee, as a result of his incessant teasing of her…she is quite ruthless in her treatment of him, which, sadly, seems to excite him even more!
His legs are now so long that they are, for the moment, beyond his control, and he is going through another seriously mal coordinated phase.
This morning he was busy teasing Bee in the garden,and when I called, decided to race back to me at break neck speed, forgetting to negotiate a small cement step, resulting in his cart wheeling twice along the cement pad, and then suffering the indignity of the side of his face becoming a braking device,as the velocity generated from the fall continued to push him along.He is is now lying at my feet, feeling very sorry for himself, and Bee [who also witnessed the event] is giving him “Well if you choose to behave like a mad man” looks.
Rather worryingly yesterday, Bee was suffering from some sort of poisoning. I imagine perhaps a scorpion . Finn and I were aware that she was unusually quiet, and then we were aware that she was dribbling uncontrollably and then she was ill…very very ill. Afterwards she simply wanted to sleep, so we let her. Having rid herself of the immediate contents of her tummy..she seemed a great deal better choosing to drink copious amounts of water between sleeps…however during the night her bowels exploded and by the morning, whilst I was busy clearing, she was back of top form!!!!!.
We have a suspicion that something is lurking in an oval patch of greenery in the garden, that she frequents, it has a large broad terracotta bowl ,which fills with rainwater [and is very full at the moment].It is quite impenetrable for us, but both dogs love to hide in there….Moses has been asked to clean it out this week and has been told of our suspicions….his response “No worry Missus…Moses take Machete”.Good old Moses…what would we do without him. Having discussed these evnts with several people they have all come to the conclusion that it is most likely to have been a small frog, that expels very noxious substances when tampered with…and that whilst not deadly..will give its victim an extremely nasty bout of D & V. Fingers crossed..Bee has learned her lesson!

Finn has made a complete recovery,and on Friday decided to attempt some wakeboarding, under GJ`s guidance, at the lake. He thoroughly enjoyed himself and has decided to attempt to put the slalom ski`s on next time!!!! He has also returned to “normal” eating ,and was hilarious last night when we braaid Fillet steaks…eulogizing and murmuring and being generally in heaven at the miraculous taste of “real food”, after 11 days of a starvation diet. It was one of those meals that he is bound to remember for a very long time indeed. He has lost ¾ stone!. His “ Newcastle tan” is turning from a shade of grey/white to a rather shocking lobster red………which he seems unusually thrilled about!

Simon, Bossy`s golfing friend from Newbury, is staying with us for three days, before moving onwards to Jo burg, late on Saturday after the boys have golfed for the day in Kahtu.
Whilst he was with us, he wanted to visit Augrabies falls, which we did on Friday. Finn tells me I am beginning to sound like a tour guide, with my stories of diamonds in the pools and of prehistoric giant fish that eat “”Bezoekers” [tourists] that happen into the water.

We saw more birds and a small very tame ground squirrel that came up and begged some of our breakfast toast from us. The falls were more ferocious than my last visit with Fee, on account of the extraordinary amount of rain that has fallen in my absence! [woops those rain dances clearly worked.], the temperature HAS dropped,and as we approach Autumn,our early mornings are verging on nippy [ great!]…I have started my swimming again, but am down to 8 lengths!!!!! [Too much of the good life!]

Our weekend has been full of shooting matches [Finn is getting used to being thrashed by me now!] and braaing with friends keen to catch up on my news from England, but in actuality, more keen to get a look at Finn!

We are all three of us, keen to collect Little of Friday,and since he has insisted he wants to be collected and get straight on the long road back to the farm, we are planning to depart on Wednesday morning and spend two nights in Cape Town ,before we pick up Little [ Hurrah for the Cape…cant wait!]

Love and huge hugs to everyone, I am praying that my severe homesickness eases over the next few days, I am struggling even to look at my recent photos from the UK,which is always a sign of disquiet…but I did Skype with Tazzy and Tommy on Saturday and strangely, that made me feel a lot better.

Jell,I hope that your hang over was not too bad from Saturday night , that you sensibly avoided the Marge/Amy look, and that you had countless declarations of undying love!

Finn and I are off to UP, first thing tomorrow, to get Bossies and Littles and my passports stamped with our temporary residency visas…After 7 months we will at last, be legal citizens here in deepest darkest Africa.

Kisses [on the lips again!]

DawnXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

PS: I am in the process of making further enquiries about the "kalahari Gold" truffles,which the folk around here eat with great relish..but tend to refer to as "mushrooms"!!!!
I have developed a liking for Nguni cows,which are spectacular!!!!! and Gerrit has a herd of them, so plan to go and take some pictures for the next blog...Bet you cant wait!!!!!